Super Blonde takes to the skies...

The holidays are here and its time to go back east! If you weren't already aware, I am from Massachusetts. No, not Boston. Contrary to popular belief, there are other places to live in Massachusetts. Leading Man and I are making our way from LA to New Jersey to see his family, then up to Massachusetts to see mine. I am so excited I could shoot sunny beams of glittering light out of my ass. I cannot convey how excited I am to see my amazing friends, my fantastic family, and my dog (more on him in another post). After 6 months away, I am more than ready to get out of LA and see my loved ones. One thing lies between me and a fun old fashioned family Christmas:

THE FLIGHT.



Every time I fly, I am utterly convinced that my time is up. I am a nervous wreck. I don't eat, sleep, or stop playing "Final Destination" in my head. I am nothing if not dramatic.

So, here I sit at the airport; Starbucks "Calm" tea in hand, a super comfortable outfit, and a full on case of anxiety. Something about hurtling through the air thousands of feet up in a missle with seats inside has never sat very well with me. Its not fun. I don't like it, and no one can convince me otherwise. Go ahead, throw meaningless factoids at me about how it's a bazillion times safer than driving. PEH! My ass! Let me hit you with some truth: I'd rather drive clear across the United States (which I actually did in June) then fly the distance.
Leading man however, does not feel the same way. He is comatose on the airport floor sleeping at this very moment like a newborn baby. See exhibits A and B below:


Sleeping like Dracula



Ugly cry face.

I'd like to say the expression of complete desperation and fear on my face is an exaggeration, but alas, it's not. And just look at him.  Look how comfortable and at peace he is.  Does he not realize what we're about to do?!  Despite his warning the night before of "I get into a zen like state when traveling," I didn't fully realize what I was getting myself into.  So, wish me luck.  See you on the other side (of the country or life itself, I'm not sure which yet).

Are you a happy flyer or do you need to wear a Depends like me?